Wednesday, June 18, 2014

M-W-F Bible study: 1 Corinthians 7:1-9

I have a question, for those of you reading here, today. In verse 4, Paul says that our bodies also belong to our spouses. Do you think this also means that if one spouse is not taking good care of their body, it is the duty of the other spouse to say/do something? In our culture, today, we tend to be too hands-off, and have the attitude of "it's your life, do as you choose", even when we see someone we love is hurting theirself by their behavior or choices. Just a thought and question.


1 Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. 2 But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. 8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.    (the following is from Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary -- www.christnotes.org)

"Chapter Contents

The apostle answers several questions about marriage. (1-9) Married Christians should not seek to part from their unbelieving consorts. (10-16) Persons, in any fixed station, should usually abide in that. (17-24) It was most desirable, on account of the then perilous days, for people to sit loose to this world. (25-35) Great prudence be used in marriage; it should be only in the Lord. (36-40)

Commentary on 1 Corinthians 7:1-9

The apostle tells the Corinthians that it was good, in that juncture of time, for Christians to keep themselves single. Yet he says that marriage, and the comforts of that state, are settled by Divine wisdom. Though none may break the law of God, yet that perfect rule leaves men at liberty to serve him in the way most suited to their powers and circumstances, of which others often are very unfit judges. All must determine for themselves, seeking counsel from God how they ought to act."
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4 comments:

  1. KrisJune 18, 2014 at 7:29 AM

    Ooh,tricky. When I was at my heaviest, my husband didn't say anything to me but continued to love and support me (keeping in mind that I had a 2 year old and an infant and was exhausted ... ). When I joined Weight Watchers, he was completely supportive of me--it was expensive and required a healthier eating lifestyle (and time for me to exercise) and I found his non-judgmental but helpful attitude so helpful.

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    1. LiliJune 18, 2014 at 8:06 AM

      Weight is a tricky area. First of all, we need to distinguish between what society tells us is an ideal weight for appearance vs. what is a healthy weight. As women, we tend to be influenced by how others will see us.

      As you pointed out, you had an infant and toddler you were caring for. The process of losing weight immediately after your youngest was born, might have been stressful, stripped you of needed energy and limited your ability to be a good mother at that moment. So your husband's love and support right then was exactly what you and your family needed. But then as you could, you joined WW and made the changes you needed to have a healthier body.

      If you had never taken steps towards a healthier lifestyle, would it then have been okay for him to find a way to motivate you to make changes? I'm not saying that a spouse should become the "food police". I think that could become an unkind and unloving role.

      But as a couple, we have a stake in how healthy our spouses are. If your spouse was addicted to pain killers, should you step in to help them overcome their addiction? If your spouse developed habits which kept him/her from living a healthy life and fulfilling God's intended role for them, is it our responsibility to do or say something?

      This is just what struck me when I read this passage in 1 Corinthians.

      And for what it's worth, I gained 50 lbs with my pregnancy with twins. And I didn't lose the last 25 lbs until they were 3 years old. I allowed myself those 3 years so I wouldn't be a cranky mom (as I am when dieting), and would have the energy I needed. It was at age 3 (them, not me) that I was finally not so stressed and worn out all the time, and I could deal with dieting and increased exercise.

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    2. KrisJune 18, 2014 at 11:14 AM

      I think if there's something going on which is imminently damaging to self/others (alcoholism, etc.) that you may have to do the tough love approach. So much, to me, seems dependent upon how we approach others--humility and kindness are key. In my case, I had been overweight for years and it was nursing, not pregnancy, that made me pile on weight (I was HUNGRY!). When I found myself going into "obese" mode rather than "overweight", I got scared--I was 40 when I had my youngest and I wanted both to be around for my children and to set a good lifestyle example for them. If I had been badgered about my weight, I probably would have stubbornly resisted getting healthier (which is why I think HOW you approach someone is key--you may not get the results you want if you push-push-push). For me, making it a partnership rather than a "you have a problem, now fix it" thing was important. Maybe others are motivated differently, I don't know. Probably points back to our need to bathe everything in prayer first, eh? (usually my last resort ... oh yeah, I COULD ask God what to do ... )

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    3. LiliJune 18, 2014 at 11:45 AM

      Food choices and body image are emotionally-charged issues for many people. And how you approach someone can either feel threatening or demonstrate real love for the person.

      Years ago, I was drinking a lot of coffee everyday, a lot. My step-mom just kindly mentioned that she felt all this coffee could be harmful to me. Because she was kind about it, I gave her words thought, and worked on cutting back. On the other hand, my brother-in-law has been a multi-pack a day cigarette smoker since he was a teen. People nagged and nagged, and he only wanted to smoke more. He has since had a stroke and heart problems requiring surgery. And even now, I think he still smokes.

      But imminent danger is altogether different. If my spouse or child did something to put their life in immediate jeopardy, I would step in, and be forceful if I needed to be, but all in the spirit of love.

      With my daughter recovering from an eating disorder, the early days when I discovered what was she was suffering with, were scary. There were days when I had to say, "yes, you need to eat that". And we got her the emotional support she needed to deal with the issues that set her up for an ED. But I also am definitely coming from a place of love, and she knows it. I sometimes stay up very late into the night, helping her sort out her feelings about food and fear of getting fat. We just talk. Sometimes that's what she needs most.

      You know the old saying, "you can catch more flies with honey, than with vinegar". There's a lot of wisdom in that.

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